With You, For You
by crayonboxromance
Summary: Lila Bishop gets herself arrested in a mad bid to follow her best friend Wells Jaha to the ground. She hoped to be able to see a sunrise on her eighteenth birthday but she never expected to survive to even see her birthday. What actually happens is so muc
1. We're Back

_Hi guys! Now I know that Bellarke is the pairing of The 100 but I could barely restrain myself.  
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_Bob Morley is such a cutie and Bellamy Blake is wonderfully morally confusing._

_That and I am so super into The 100 right now and I hope you are too!_

_Anyway! Please enjoy :D_

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><p>I stared at my friend's distraught face. Wells had known of the vague notion of sending juvenile delinquents to Earth in a few weeks but now he'd just discovered that his friend, and unrequited love, Clarke was going to be one of them.<p>

I hadn't quite been able to believe it when he said that he had to get arrested for Clarke. Why couldn't he stay safe for _me_? I'd been the one to help pick up the broken pieces Clarke had left behind when she'd declared her hatred for him. I didn't hate him. We were siblings in everything but blood. Yet here he was, ready to die for someone who hated him and ready to leave everyone who loved him. It was the distraught, heartbroken face though that told me that Wells was going to get himself arrested regardless of that. He was just being polite, telling me beforehand. I had no choice.

"Alright Wells. I'm with you. You're going to need someone down there who's on your side anyway. I can't leave my best friend running around by himself down there." I reached out my hand for him to grab. Instead of going for our usual handshake however Wells simply gathered me up in his arms. If I felt his grateful tears on my shoulder I'll never say anything.

"After I've ensured that we're on the list I've got something in mind to get me arrested. How will you do it?"

"Don't worry your pretty head. I'll think of something."

Two days later I kicked at my prison wall. Admittedly stealing from the market and then assaulting her guard was a little excessive.

Even though I knew in my head that we were going to be sent to Earth in a few weeks the time stretched out forever. For three weeks I had to remain in solitary confinement and my only solace was the person next door with whom I exchanged several conversations that only consisted of tapping. The walls were too thick to even attempt a real conversation so we exchanged taps. It had started with me tapping an idle beat with my fingers as I curled up as much as I could next to the wall. There had been a completely unexpected response and we'd then spent three further hours merely exchanging taps. It soon turned in to a sort of comfort thing. If ever we were feeling lonely, which happened more often than I cared to admit, one of us would start tapping a beat. The other would respond with a similar beat and together we'd make a song. I often wondered if the other would be part of the teenagers being sent down to Earth and, if they were, would we ever meet? Would we, amidst the chaos and confusion, be able to recognise each other somehow?

My head often turned towards the idea of Earth, idealised, romanticised versions where it wasn't dangerous or radiated. I dreamt of an Earth I'd only ever heard about and traced patterns on my cell of what I thought the Earth might look like. I also wondered whether or not I'd ever actually see it. When Wells and I had been arrested I was only three weeks away from my eighteenth birthday, a fact both Wells and I had forgotten in our mad mission. Every day I asked my guard what the date was and dread had grown inside me as my birthday got ever closer. I told myself that if I made it to eighteen on Earth then I'd watch a sunrise for the first time ever. I would watch what no one else had seen for three generations.

Suddenly the lights of my cell flickered to life and the steel door clanged loudly open, "Prisoner 425, face the wall." I frowned. That had never happened before. Quickly I uncurled from my position by the wall and hurried to do as bid. When my face was hidden from the guards she allowed myself a broad grin. It was happening! I could do it! I could somehow manage to see a sunrise for my eighteenth birthday. Still, I had to put on a good show, I hadn't been the quietest of prisoners.

"What's happening? What's going on?" I managed to insert both disdain and confusion in to my tone.

"Be quiet." The guard's voice was deep and not my usual kindly guard. My ears picked up the clink of metal. Rough hands grabbed my right arm and a wide bracelet was clapped on to my wrist. It felt kind of like I imagined manacles to feel. I said nothing but instead bent my head and only struggled a little when I was pulled into the corridors of the Skybox. There was uproar and confusion from all of the prisoners. I looked around to see the cell next to mine open up and my musical partner stepped out. My eyebrows quirked up.

The Ark is small enough that everyone knew each other or at least recognised each other by sight. I had no idea who this girl was though. She looked familiar, like I knew her family maybe but I couldn't be sure. She had beautiful olive skin and long brown skin. Through our confusion we both managed a giggle and I opened my mouth to introduce myself. Instead our guards tugged at us roughly until we started moving. We were then forced, single file, towards an area I'd never seen before. I could only assume that it was some kind of docking station because we were then forced on to the Dropship. Our guards forced us up to the second level, sitting down next together and then somewhat angrily strapped us in before disappearing.

"What's going on?" My musical friend yelled over the cacophony of confused teenagers. I just shook my head, knowing that she'd find out soon enough.

"I'm Lila Bishop!" I shouted back instead.

"Octavia Blake!" Octavia had been about to yell something else but everything started happening at once.

A flood of teenagers spewed into the ship. A couple were being carried on unconscious and I could just make out Clarke Griffin as one of them. Wells followed her and strapped himself in next to her, ensuring that she was secure before seeking me out. We locked gaze and asked each other how we were without words. Both of us nodded that we were okay. I opened my mouth to say something but the door to the ship slammed shut. Octavia suddenly grabbed my hand, her finger tapping a vigorous rhythm. Her breathing became laboured, I squeezed her hand although it did nothing to help. It was all happening so quickly. Without warning we were released from the Ark and began dropping through space. Many people screamed. Tears escaped my eyes as I let out a stream of apologies and goodbyes to my family, the family I would never see again of that I was sure.

"Lila," Octavia said next to me once our flight calmed down slightly, "what's happening?" Out of the corner of my eye I saw Clarke waking up and sharing heated words with Wells. Once again I was interrupted by our ship hitting the atmosphere. The screens above our head flickered. Wells' father appeared on the screen to start explaining what was happening.

"Your dad's a _dick_ Wells!" I heard some guy shout at Wells who's jaw twitched. Even though the speech that Daddy Jaha had just given was incredibly insensitive, which even Wells could admit, it still hurt to hear things like that. I simply screwed my eyes tightly shut and squeezed Octavia's hand again. The ship started shaking. I zoned everything out. We were jolted as the parachutes deployed. My strap cut in to my neck. I cried out in pain and heard others do the same. There was noise everywhere. I couldn't concentrate. I just kept repeating my apologies as if somehow they would make everything better. Then everything got better.

"Listen." Monty, a boy I knew from before he got sent to the Skybox, said. I listened, I couldn't hear anything. It took me a second to realise that that's what he meant. There was no background hum from the Ark, something every single one of us had been born hearing. Jasper next to him said nothing I didn't catch. Octavia had let go of my hand and we were both struggling to unstrap from our seats. Wells, over on the other side, sat and stared blindly. Clearly his impassioned conversation with Clarke hadn't gone well.

"The door's on the lower level." Some guy said and before I could get to Wells' side I was pushed by Octavia to follow the crowd. We grabbed at each other, our only sure things at the moment. I went down the ladder first, in time to see a man standing in front of the large doors. Bellamy Blake, an older man who'd one time given me some food from the market when I was seven and he was twelve. For years after that I was convinced that Bellamy was the love of my life. How the hell did he get here? I dropped to the floor and reached for Octavia again, ignoring the conversation between Clarke and Bellamy. Octavia wasn't however.

"Bellamy?" She asked from her place on the ladder. There was a hope in her face I didn't understand. She got down quickly and pushed her way through the crowd followed by whispers of her hiding under floors. It hit me. _That's_ why she was so familiar! I pushed forward too, managing to catch the pair embracing.

"What are you wearing? A guard's uniform?" Her voice was both relieved and accusative.

"I borrowed it, to get on the Dropship. Someone's got to take care of you." That hit me in the gut. Where was Wells? That was the very reason I came down here and yet I'd abandoned him the first chance I got. Quickly I looked around for him.

"No one's got a brother!" Someone shouted.

"That's the girl they found hidden in the floor!" Octavia narrowed her eyes at the person who said it. I could understand her reaction when she lunged for her. To be imprisoned for being born you'd be understandably sensitive about it. Bellamy caught her however.

"Octavia, no! Let's give them something else to remember you by."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"To be the first person on the ground in a hundred years." Everyone stopped. The siblings smiled at each other. My heart started racing. Here we were, about to feel grass beneath our feet for the first time. Octavia and I locked gazes. She smiled and that was all it took for tears to start running down my first. For weeks I'd dreamed about this moment. It was all I'd thought about for weeks even though I'd never given a damn about it before. In a rush a longing to feel sunlight, to feel rain, to see grass hit me. My hands started trembling as I held them together.

Bellamy pulled a lever. There was smoke as the door was released and light filled the room. In unison the ship blinked against it. It was warm, so beautifully warm and better than anything I could ever have dreamed. I turned my face to a breeze that played with my hair. I couldn't help it, I sobbed a little. There were trees and sunlight and wind and smells and it was all too, too much.

Octavia stepped forward, inhaling deeply before releasing a satisfied sigh. Her steps towards the earth were tentative. I took steps too, steps that brought me side by side with Bellamy. He never registered my appearance, too focussed on his sister. His hands raised to keep everyone back as Octavia jumped down. I could hear the crunch of her boots in the soil and it was the most heavenly sound I had ever heard. She raised her hands and gave an elated shout.

"We're back bitches!" The crowd erupted with joy.


	2. The Ground is Waiting

_Thank you so much for the review guys! _

**_anon  
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_You guys are awesome. I hope you continue to enjoy :)  
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><p>Small fires were burning all around as result of the turbulent landing, which was a strange juxtaposition to the continuing excited whooping. I remained standing on the door with my eyes closed against the sun and the breeze. The smells of earth, trees and <em>everything<em> filled my nose. There was no stopping my tears. I felt fingers loop around mine. I opened my eyes to see Octavia grinning up at me. It made me so happy to realise that our 'conversations' up in the Skybox had meant as much to her as they did to me.

"Come on. The ground's waiting." Gently she tugged at my hand, not seeming to realise that her brother was standing like an ever present force behind her. I slowly put one boot in front of the other until I reached the edge. Like Octavia before me I hesitated before stepping down to soil. If I was emotional just looking at everything how was I going to feel when I touched it.

I jumped down. The soil was crumbly beneath my boots. Blindly I reached out to grab a fern, which was prickly but somehow soft. Octavia and I looked at each other for a second. I threw my head back, my hands up and cheered as loud as I could. Together we jumped around screaming our heads off, totally overcome with the joy of being free, of being the first and only. Out of the corner of my eye Wells remained in the door of the Dropship looking extremely concerned. I twirled and spotted Clarke heading somewhere with purpose and the Finn boy following closely behind her. I rolled my eyes.

"Wells! Come on! It's beautiful!" I yelled out. Octavia and Bellamy turned away to join with some other cheering people so I sprinted to him. Wells was totally immobile as I tried to push him towards the earth, "go feel it Wells. It's not like anything we've felt before! Oh my God it's so wonderful." Nothing I said would excite him though. Instead he merely stood with a thoughtful expression, chewing his bottom lip.

"I need to check something." His hand snaked around my wrist and he pulled me towards a massive box on the wall. I couldn't help but giggle. It was just so Wells. Whilst we were all making fools of ourselves, possibly me more than anyone what with the crying, he was thinking about the serious things, all the things that would keep us alive in the long run. At least that's what I assumed this was. It wasn't until he slammed the door of the box shut angrily that I realised the black box was actually used for communications and only then because he said it was. Then I was ushered towards the ladders and pushed up towards the roof. Once I got up there, after taking in the view and waving at Octavia, I noticed what Wells was looking for. Several panels were missing and loads of wires were fried making it nigh on unfixable without considerable knowledge, knowledge that a bunch of teenagers weren't ever going to have. Communication with the Ark was going to be impossible. Fear kicked me in the gut. I was one of the few of my social class who actually had parents left. My mother and father who'd cried when I was placed in solitary even though they thought they'd see me again. Now they never would and I'd never be able to talk to them again. I kicked at a panel breaking that one too.

"Come on Lila, we'll figure something out." Wells, sweet sweet Wells, wrapped an arm around my waist, pressed a comforting kiss to the side of my hair, "let's go tell Clarke." I laughed bitterly. What would _she _do? I couldn't understand his love for Clarke, after everything she'd put him through. I'd met Wells just after Clarke had been put in prison so all I knew of their relationship was the hurt that Wells felt. The more we became friends the more I grew to dislike and resent Clarke by proxy.

When we were back on the ground I moved straight towards Octavia, leaving Wells with his unrequited love. Both her and her brother eyed me suspiciously, "you're friends with _Jaha_?"

"Yup. Don't get me wrong I hate his father but Wells is a good guy. I can't imagine a better guy than Wells." Octavia narrowed her eyes, remained unconvinced but said nothing. Bellamy scoffed, glared at me and looked away towards where a group of guys led by Murphy moved towards Wells and Clarke. Instinctively I moved towards him but for some reason a large hand grabbed my upper arm. I looked up at my captor in confusion just in time to hear him say,

"We're on the ground. Is that not enough for you?" He pushed me behind him. I had no idea what was going on but could only assume that this was because of mine and Octavia's friendship.

"Screw your father. What? You think you're in charge here? You and your little princess?" I snickered at the slur towards Clarke but instantly quietened when Wells levelled a hurt look at me. As soon as the princess started a speech however, even though I knew that it was entirely sensible, I tapped a slight beat on Octavia's arm to show my amusement. She tapped back with a smirk so reminiscent of her brother. We exchanged a small conversation for a second until Murphy suddenly pushed at Wells. I surged forward on instinct. Wells was on the ground in seconds but up again, ready to fight in an instant.

"Wells! Don't!" The boy couldn't fight to save his life and that's exactly the type of fight he was heading in to. Finn who was for some reason sitting on pipes up the side of the Dropship twitched his hand. Just as he jumped down I grabbed at Wells' arms, twisting him around to face me, "don't be an idiot. I can't be on your side if _you're_ not on your side." He blinked at me for a few seconds as if confused by my sudden appearance before nodding seriously. That's my Wells, always serious but concerned for everyone, ready for anything. Had we stayed on the Ark he would certainly have succeeded his father in all sense of the word. I only hoped that we would last long enough for me to see the great leader I knew he could become. Smiling gratefully I held out my hand. He grabbed it and we shook once.

By the time we'd finished our conversation Finn had defused the situation, Bellamy and Octavia had turned away to have some private argument and Clarke was there to guide Wells down to a sitting position so that she could look at his ankle. I narrowed my eyes at her. Why was she caring now? What the hell was she trying to prove? Some might have called it a tantrum but I didn't care as I sat down beside my friend and pouted. Even whilst my hands played with the soil, which was still a wonder, my mind continued making jabs at the princess as Octavia had called her. I completely zoned out, only coming out of bitchy place in my head when the princess quite forcibly said 'let's go'.

My head shot up from where it was staring at the soil. I really had to stop doing that, I was clearly missing out on important conversations. What I did notice though was the thoughtful look on Bellamy's face before Octavia kissed him on the cheek and ran off with the small group advancing towards the forest. The princess sighed in front of us, her eyes trained solely on my injured friend, "you shouldn't have come here Wells." Then Miss High and Mighty strolled off like what she'd said hadn't hurt him.

"Bitch!" I yelled at her retreating back. Octavia turned back and winked at me but the princess never even moved her head, "shut up Wells." I snapped when the boy tried to say something in her defence, "I don't care if she's your godamned soulmate, she's got no right to speak to people like that. Fucking princess." There was a heavy pause in the air. I tried not to notice Bellamy smirking at my tirade against Clarke although it felt nice to know someone might agree. As soon as our eyes connected the smile disappeared and he nodded seriously. I nodded back. He moved away towards a pack of girls who were eyeing him appreciatively. Handsome as he was, not so sure I'd have picked now of all days to focus on boys. Remembering that today was our first day of landing caused me to break out in to a grin. My fingers spread wide in the soil again and my breath created smoke in the air, "it'll be cold tonight Wells. Let's look for firewood."

We spent all of that afternoon collecting firewood. I revelled in the fact that we could, that there were trees for us to collect from, that there was even the possibility of a fire. I hummed to myself, sang to myself and danced with myself as I stayed deep in the woods, creating a massive pile of dry wood. Wells would take it back to camp. After one trip he came back subdued. Although he brushed it off as people simply hating on his father I figured it might be something more. I couldn't prove it though and he wouldn't say anything so I simply carried on with my work.

Time passed quickly and before I knew it, it was dark. A massive part of me was sad to miss my first sunrise but it was still a week until my eighteenth and I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. Suddenly I realised that Wells hadn't come back in a while. Just as I was about to move however a rainstorm interrupted me. Rain! Wet, cold, glorious rain! It was sharp against my skin and I loved it. It didn't last long, just enough for me to be completely soaked though. Everything wonderful was happening all at once. More tears threatened but instead I threw my hands in the air and twirled around, gazing at the tree branches, trying to make out the sky. I screwed my eyes tightly shut and whooped once, long and loud. Excitement and elation seemed to have a life of their own inside me.

When I opened my eyes the best sight yet greeted me. My breath was stolen. All around me, growing on the trees, was something luminescent. The world glowed a beautiful blue. Without me thinking my hand floated up to be on level with the nearest tree to me. I stepped towards it.

"Don't touch it." A deep, toneless voice ordered. With a jerk I dropped my hand and faced the intruder. It was Bellamy with his usual grim look.

"It's beautiful. Did you ever think in your life you'd see anything like this?" My voice was breathy as I glanced around the forest. My fingers itched to touch so badly but he was probably right. Touching it would be a bad idea considering we knew nothing about it.

"No." Short and to the point, almost nothing like his sister in that respect. I smiled dreamily as my hand reached out of it's own accord to touch the glowing plants. Bellamy's long fingers wrapped themselves around my wrist. I looked up. Even though the glow cast odd shadows I couldn't blame his almost lifeless eyes on that. He was definitely up to something.

"Why are you here?" A heavy silence. For a second he looked almost regretful or _guilty, _"Wells-" My cry was cut off by Bellamy putting his other hand on my mouth and shoving my head against a tree. Just before I blacked out I could hear a faint apology on the air.


	3. Give Them Hell

_Thanks so much for reviewing guys :) I'm glad you agree with me about Clarke ;)  
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_Thanks for returning, those who did :) _

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><p>Everything was quiet when I came to. I was just on the inside of the Dropship, the third level I think. Quickly I gave myself the once over, there was nothing tying me back like I thought there would be. However Bellamy stood over me, crowbar in his hands, contemplating what he was going to do next. There was silence as we judged each other. He crouched down ignoring my flinch back although there wasn't anywhere I could do. Both my left side and my back were blocked in by walls. Long fingers pressed slightly against where my head had connected with the tree. I winced.<p>

"I'm sorry. I know you've helped my sister and I'm grateful for that but we couldn't have you interfering."

"With what? Where's Wells? What did you do to him?" I demanded pushing myself up but I was pushed down instantly. His lithe frame didn't look like it lent itself to strength but I was subdued easily. Instead of answering Bellamy simply slipped a finger under my wristband. Well now I knew, they'd taken off his wristband. Bellamy's other hand squeezed the crowbar and shimmied it around to get a better grip. Panic rose up inside me. I started squirming, trying desperately to get out of his grip but he wrapped his hand around my arm tightly.

"No! No. Please Bellamy. Please, don't, no." I begged incoherently. He couldn't do this! I needed this, "You don't have to do this." He ignored me and fitted the crowbar under the wristband as best he could. The cold of it made me shiver, "I know why you want to take them off-"

His head jerked up, the sudden movement making the crowbar dig into my skin."What do you know?" He hissed.

"You did something right? Something worse than the others have done? This is you saving your skin and I get that, I really do. But I still have parents up there." Bellamy had stilled throughout that entire little speech but the moment I mentioned living family he jerked as if he'd been burned. I knew that he had no one apart from Octavia who was on the ground where he could see her and ensure her safety. I had Wells of course but I also had people waiting for me in the stars, "this is my only link to them. It's the only way they know I'm safe. Please Bellamy, please let me keep it?" It was as if the inside of my chest was shaking. I'd already cried so much in one day but here I was again, the insides of my chest rattling around as I tamped everything down as hard as I could. Bellamy raised his dark eyes to mine with a measured look. It looked as if he was turning everything over in his head. For a few moments I was tempted to ask how he would feel if Octavia had never made the list and it was him down here with the wristband as his only link. Instead I simply held my breath and waited. With a sigh Bellamy shrugged off his guards jacket and threw it at my booted feet. As I scrambled up I slipped it on noting how the sleeves covered my wrists.

"I won't do it but I'm not going to stop the others."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it." I had a feeling he meant that literally so I nodded to show I understood. As he turned to leave though I stopped him feeling so small in my jacket but needing to say it anyway.

"Bellamy. I won't forget this but I need you to know that if any harm comes to Wells under your watch I will kill you. I don't care if they kill me too, I swear that killing you will be my last action in this world. He's my brother and I know you understand how that feels." He hadn't turned towards me the entire time and he didn't then, just went down the ladder silently.

The next day found Wells and I digging graves for the two boys who had died during the landing. It was more manual work than we were used to, sweat was pouring off the both of us but I refused to remove my jacket and both of us refused to talk about last night. Wells wouldn't tell me what happened when they'd removed his band and I wouldn't tell him why I was where I got my jacket from although he definitely knew. Silently we'd made the joint decision to remove their clothes, needing to store everything that we could. I'd folded them as neatly and wished, not for the first time, that we had found water to wash them with. Both of the boys were dirty and caked in blood. When it had come to lowering them Wells had turned me away and dealt with it himself. Together we'd held hands and had a minute's silence in respect.

The camp was still raucous when we returned, which, whilst heart-warming, was now getting worrying. There seemed no sign of rule happening any time soon apart from some form of terror that Bellamy was unleashing. When we walked past the Dropship one of Bellamy's thugs, Atom, stopped us, trying to take the clothes from us. When they made noises about _not_ sharing based on need I frowned. With limited supplies it was the most logical option but they were all clearly still on their delusional power high. However when Bellamy and Wells started their testosterone-off I rolled my eyes, satisfied that there wouldn't be blood, and pushed my way into the ship. Carefully I stowed away the clothes mindful of Atom's watchful eye until a scream echoed through the camp.

Atom and I arrived at the scene late, just in time to see Murphy and Wells engrossed in a fight. Not a fight like the brawls that had been breaking out just to burn off energy. No, this was a fight which could only end up in hurt. I rushed forwards only to be stopped by the Almighty Himself, Bellamy. His eyes were alight as he watched the scene avidly.

"I will kill you Bellamy Blake, do you hear me? I will tear you apart." I scratched and bit as I struggled in vain to get away from him but his arms held me fast. There was nothing I could do apart from watch the fight unfold. The tight grip only loosened when Murphy was beaten on the ground and Wells was lumbering forward. Quickly he took me from Bellamy's grip and I slipped the small knife I'd taken from Bellamy's pocket into his hand. Just because I allowed myself to be caught that day in the market didn't mean that my fingers hadn't always been light. It was a natural by-product of poverty. Behind him Murphy was staggering to his feet with a hateful smirk. Wells pushed me back just in time to avoid a knife to the face. The fight began again.

"Wells!" A familiar voice yelled, "let him go!" The princess sounded totally judgemental and I almost lunged for her. She just didn't have a clue about the situation! Who was she to sit in judgement? Unsurprisingly however Wells did as he was told. My temper flared.

"Why shouldn't he defend himself princess?"

"Wells isn't a killer." She hissed at me, acknowledging me for the first time since this whole thing began.

"Doesn't stop people trying to kill _him. _Would you have stopped it if it were the other way round? Would you even care?" Obviously Clarke vehemently insisted that she would but I seriously had my doubts. Her hatred for Wells ran deep and the fact that I knew it was all a big misunderstanding only irritated me further. Before our argument could fall to blows, started by me of course, Wells interrupted with a heavy arm around my shoulders and a question about Jasper. My eyes shot around the group who had returned. Finn was sitting down on a fallen tree with a grave face, Octavia was being held up by Bellamy and Monty was distraught. I pushed past Clarke, making sure to hit her on my way to Octavia petty as it was, "what happened? Where's the food?"

"We never made it to Mount Weather. We were attacked." Finn frowned.

"By what?"

"Not what." The princess found her voice again, "who." A spatter of mutterings broke out amongst the assembled crowd. No one knew what to make especially when Finn continued,

"Turns out when the last man died on the Ark he wasn't the last Grounder. There are people here."

"But that means we can survive radiation." I piped up from under Octavia's arm as I helped support her as much I could. When I turned to share my glee with her though she shook her head balefully. I swallowed. In my haste I'd forgotten about Jasper and how he'd been attacked although how badly had yet to be told. The sadness on Monty's face suggested it was dire.

"Yeah," Finn looked over at me as if seeing me for the first time or simply surprised that I could make a vaguely intelligent comment, "but not the Grounders. They took Jasper when they-"

"Where's your wristband?" Clarke interrupted as if _that_ was the most important thing right now. Wells directed her ire towards Bellamy who kept his face impassive. I tuned out the rest of the conversation knowing that a tirade against them all was coming, choosing instead to follow Monty to where he'd disappeared to. Octavia sent me off with a nod.

He was at the door of the Dropship staring in to the distance and playing with some piece of technology. It made sense. I knew Jasper and Monty from when they spent their time in the agriculture department of the Ark where both me and my parents worked. Monty was always playing with something mechanical whilst Jasper fiddled with some plant or other. The two friends were never separate from each other and always in some kind of mischief. I couldn't imagine them apart. I offered no words of comfort or asked whether or not he was okay, words had never been my strength. I was more of a fists first kind of girl. My shoulder merely bumped his and I squeezed one of his hands. With a grateful sigh Monty knocked our knees together. We sat in silence for a good few moments until people started emerging from the woods to return to the Dropship. Knowing that Monty wouldn't have wanted people to see his discomfort I silently got up and walked over to where Bellamy was attending to Octavia's injured leg. When I looked back Monty had disappeared inside with Clarke, Finn and Wells.

"I'm sorry you had to see whatever it was Octavia." I said quietly as I dropped down beside her on the fallen tree she was sitting on. Bellamy grunted in agreement and I only just managed to restrain myself from shoving my boot at his face. If he didn't think I was serious in my endeavour to tear him apart then he was going to get a sharp shock or a long fall. Whilst I wasn't entirely convinced that I could _actually _push him off a cliff but I was damn sure going to make his life here a living hell and fully enjoy doing it. Not one night after I made my declaration he'd willingly put Wells in danger, a decision I would make him regret.

All through my glaring at Bellamy both Wells and Clarke had appeared in front of us and the princess had already made a series of dismissive comments. I might possibly turn my ire on Clarke before I got round to Bellamy.

"I'm coming with you." I announced gravely and Clarke barely looked at me once before nodding sharply. I knew she didn't really care but Wells gave me a grateful smile. When Bellamy and Clarke were having some intense conversation I turned to Octavia and grasped her shoulder in apology. I guessed she might have wanted to come with us but with her leg it would be impossible. I was proven correct when Bellamy assigned Atom to ensure that she never left the camp. I would have been as derisive of that as Octavia had I not known that, if Wells would've followed my orders, I would've done the same.

"Give him hell." I winked back at Octavia as I followed the four from the camp. She grinned back and I knew there would almost certainly be hell to pay later.

I looked forward to it.


	4. Demand Attention, Seek Praise

_A quicker update this time :) A thanks to the wonderful reviewers!_

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><p>The pace was almost cruel. Clarke and Finn were pushing themselves and I couldn't see how. So far as I could understand the pair hadn't eaten much or drank at all. At least I'd been able to satisfy my hunger pangs with the odd provisions here and there. Luckily the water source that Wells had found had been dubbed well enough to drink. If it wasn't I guess it didn't matter overly. From what we'd been told it didn't seem like we were going to last very long anyway.<p>

I followed the group mostly to the side. I was cataloguing everything in my mind, planning out paths or possible routes to a clearing. It wasn't until Wells moved to my side and tried to exclaim over whatever Bellamy had said to anger Clarke.

"I don't care." I snarled, suddenly so tired of hearing about her, especially since she was all I'd heard about for the past year. It wasn't difficult to admit I was jealous because it was true. Anyway, I hadn't even heard what he said but the sentiment was probably going to be the same. Whatever Bellamy was doing he was following an agenda my apathy stopped me from thinking about. My thoughts forever lingered on what _I _wanted or on what I would do after my eighteenth birthday. I'd gone to extreme lengths for two purposes only; one was going to be a lifelong pursuit if his proclivity towards throwing himself into danger was any judge and the other would be over soon, provided I could find a decent spot for it. So far all I was seeing was dense forest.

It wasn't only my apathy that had me not listening in to the conversation but my interest in something else. Fungus grew all over the trees and my mind cast back to last night. I wondered if they had the same supernatural glow come nightfall. Detaching myself from Wells' side I wandered over to one of them, just as Finn and Clarke had stopped. Once again, without thinking my hand reached out for it. Once again a hand clapped around my wrist.

"Wells-" I giggled as I looked up. Oh. Not Wells. Bellamy was looking down at me with only a knitted brow as an expression. My own eyebrows quirked in response before I remembered that he had been the only other to see the illuminations. I smirked.

"We have to stop meeting like this Blake." In response I received a brief up-tick of his mouth before his face reset itself to it's usual grimness. Neither of us made a move away from each other and I didn't read in to it too much. Thank goodness I didn't because as it turned out he'd only wanted to tell me not to interfere if they managed to remove Clarke's wristband. I scoffed, "believe me Blake when I tell you that I don't care what happens to the princess. My loyalty is earned and she's done nothing to deserve it. You seem to have a bad track record of believing me though do you?" It seemed like a forced reminder of my threat against him if ever harm was to come to Wells but I think I dropped it in casually enough. There was an imitation of a my earlier scoff. Finally I yanked my arm away. So he really didn't believe me. Well come nightfall he better start sleeping with one eye open. The vengeance was for Wells but the determination was renewed for his lack of belief in me.

When I was younger people's lack of belief in me had been a driving force. My determination to prove them wrong and rub it in their faces kept me going in school, in my part time job and at home. It had made me pass school with flying colours when the higher born parents said that we'd never get anywhere in life for our social status. It had made me excel in my job when I was told that I was far too young to know what I was doing. It had me rebel against my parents when they told me keep my head down because they didn't want any undue attention to us. That wasn't to my taste at all. Just because my parents wanted to pass through life unnoticed didn't mean that I wanted to. I demanded attention and sought praise wherever I could as if I could force the world to recognise that I deserved them just as much as people of a higher social class.

"We're similar you and I." Bellamy grinned suddenly as we all started towards where Finn and Clarke were forging ahead, "we've both come down for the people we love-" He was interrupted by Wells cutting in and taking me gently by the hand, leading me away.

"You are nothing alike." He snarled. I didn't look back to see Bellamy's face but in my head I was disagreeing with him. Bellamy was right. Both of us were determined in our need to protect and do what we thought was right even though our ideas on that were vastly different. I didn't say this out loud however. Instead I smiled at my best friend and tucked myself in to his side as we walked.

Soon we discovered a river that Finn and Clarke recognised. There was blood on the other side and I swallowed heavily. Jasper's blood. My mind flashed images of the impish young man who was always smiling, always laughing with Monty. In the Advanced Earth Literature class we'd studied a series of plays and one of them had been _Midsummer's Night Dream_ by Shakespeare. The character Puck always reminded me of Jasper. Once we crossed the river Finn took the lead. Before I could query why Wells said that he was good in Fourth Year Earth Skills. I shrugged. It had been a class I wasn't so naturally gifted in and I was happy to hand the responsibility to Finn.

All of us watched and I didn't miss Bellamy's glance and Murphy's derisive titters as I curved further into Wells. I didn't care. Sometimes I just needed touch to comfort me in times of tension. Obviously my best friend knew that and had already wrapped a comforting arm around my waist. It squeezed tight when a mournful sound resounded around us.

"Better get out that gun." Clarke said before vaulting towards the sound. We moved as fast as we could towards it coming to a clearing. I skidded still. There was a massive tree in the middle of the clearing, jagged, dead and covered in low-hanging moss. Right in the centre was a roped, bloody and half naked Jasper. There was something over his chest, which I assumed was a makeshift bandage for the wound, but his chest was heaving. He was alive.

I yelled his name and shot forward first. Bellamy said something behind me. A crack rang out. The ground disappeared beneath me. My fall was stopped as a familiar hand yanked at me. My other arm scrambled at the edge. I hadn't seen what was at the bottom of whatever I'd fallen down but the fear in Bellamy's eyes told me it was nothing good. He started to pull me up just as the others reached us, "thank you." I whispered before Wells tugged me in to the safety of his arms. Over his shoulder I could that the pit was full of sharp spikes. Well okay, maybe I wouldn't attempt to hurt Bellamy for a little while yet. Saving me from that earned him a slight reprieve, "I'm climbing up to cut the vines. Wells, with me." My drama could wait. We had my friend to save.

We climbed the tree together, helping each other at bits we couldn't manage and holding on to each other at all times. Neither of us had ever climbed a tree and, even though the situation was dire, I felt oddly blessed to be sharing this first experience with him. I squeezed his hand and he must've known what was I thinking because he squeezed back and we shared a shy smile, as if not sure we should be smiling. My ears caught Finn mention that Jasper might be bait for them to catch us but I shrugged it off. If we were caught, we were caught but all that mattered at the moment was getting Jasper out. Just as we reached him though and Wells was using the knife I'd stolen for him to cut the vines there was a heavy rustling. We all tensed.

"What was that?" Murphy called from the ground.

"Grounders?" Bellamy asked.

Wells and I glanced to where the sound was coming from. Not Grounders, definitely not Grounders. Some kind of beast, reminiscent of the big African cats we'd been taught about, was growling in the undergrowth. There was a pause. It lurched forwards. Clarke yelled at Bellamy to reach for his gun. It was Wells who began shooting though. When did he grab that? He managed a couple of rounds before the beast delved in to the undergrowth once more. There was ominous rustling. It leapt. Wells shot. It flopped to the floor just before its front legs could descend on Bellamy's back. There were no bullets left and Wells dropped the gun with shock on his face. I touched his cheek.

"Well done." I whispered. "You saved us."

"We'll take this back for food." Finn announced in to the silence that had fallen around us. Only Jasper's laboured breathing could be heard. Without further ado but as gently as we could we eased Jasper's unconscious body to the ground. Murphy and Bellamy took the beast, Wells and Finn took Jasper and Clarke and I led the group back to camp. As I passed by my spike saviour I patted his arm awkwardly as another silent thank you. I didn't see his expression and I didn't even bother looking back at him until we reached the camp again. It wasn't until he passed me my asked-for tweezers that I looked at him again.

"What do you need them for?"

"To remove the bullets. We can see if we can alter them to be used again. Besides no one wants to eat bullet do they?" We stared at each other for a few long moments. As usual his face was completely unreadable although I could see that he knew my actions were valid. I considered him as the crowd cheered him. Bellamy Blake would've made a great leader in another life and he was probably someone I could've followed until the end. However in this life I couldn't condone his actions, his violence or his burgeoning tyranny. He would never earn my loyalty.


	5. The Earth Bears Gifts

_A slight filler chapter here guys :) I still hope you enjoy it though! Thanks to everyone who reviewed._

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><p>I kept myself away from the Dropship as Clarke and Monty treated Jasper in there. It didn't stop me pacing outside it and glare angrily at whoever tried to enter. A few people shouted towards the door, people high on the full stomachs that the beast had given them. Whilst others had been denied food my jacket and what Bellamy's visit to me had implied allowed me to have some. No one had even bothered to check my wrist, they'd just assumed that Bellamy had done the job. He wasn't here to protect them though when I punched a boy who yelled at Jasper to die. No, after that no one came near.<p>

I paced back and forth alone until the princess came out. We barely exchanged glances. There was a terrified cry far away and Clarke _obviously_ headed towards it. I knew it to be the girl who had the loud nightmares, I'd heard her when I was retrieving the bullets. Wells had nightmares sometimes, just from stress, and it had always been better to just let them fight whatever demons they had in their dreams. I'm lucky I guess. I don't dream.

As the princess left I turned on my heel, marched in to the Dropship and made my way up to the floor that Jasper's cries were echoing from. I winced with every groan. Monty was there, like he always has been, looking out for his mischievous friend. If Jasper was the trickster than Monty was the innocence. Don't get me wrong, Monty was as impish as his best friend but he had this beautiful freshness to his face that let him get away with anything. I was surprised when they were taken to the Skybox. I had genuinely felt that Monty's face could get them out of anything.

"How is he?" It was a stupid question. His pain was evident and loud. I knelt down and held Jasper's loose, sweaty hand in mine, "I can't do anything I'm sorry. The plants I knew in the Ark were bred from old Earth. These plants are nothing I can recognise." Monty just dimpled at me as if he understood. We both felt helpless. Instead I laid down next to him, kept his hand in mine and sang old lullabies my mother sang to me when I couldn't sleep. It was the only comfort I could offer.

Morning found Octavia and I working in the camp. Something had happened involving Atom, Octavia and being stringed up to a tree that I didn't fully understand but the heated glares she was levelling at Bellamy's entire group told me that I didn't want to know. Our work had been silent, broken only by the occasional chatter with others and singing together. As it turned out we had the same music taste and I'd spent the better half of the morning teaching her the lullabies I sang to Jasper last night. We remained that way, just happy to be in each other's presence and not thinking about our worries, until Atom went in to the Dropship and Octavia decided to follow, winking at me as she went. I stayed working, using it as an excuse to block out Jasper's pained pleas. There were people in there looking after him and there was nothing I could do. It pissed me off that all I could do was manual labour and I wasn't even good at it. My eyes scanned the woods. I faltered in my work. I hadn't really hunted had I? I'd said last night that I couldn't recognise the plants but I hadn't _really _looked. My focus had been on the luminescent fungus. I stepped towards the woods only to be stopped by Murphy of all people.

"Oh I wouldn't go out there." If I hated Bellamy's proclivity towards violence then I _despised _Murphy. So far as I could see and so far as Octavia had told me he was psychopath. His fights with Wells were enough to set me on edge but I wouldn't strike at him unless he tried to attack me.

"Why?" His sing-songy voice made me suspicious but no more than normal.

"Trina and Pascale are still missing." There was way too much satisfaction in that statement. I shrugged,

"They were idiots for going off on their own. I'm only looking at plants anyway. You fancy coming with?" I quirked my eyebrow in what I hoped was a flirtatious manner. Naturally I didn't mean it, all I wanted to do was make him let his guard down. Not only would it help right now but later on, when I got my revenge for Wells' pain in some malicious way. It wasn't just Bellamy who was on my shit list. It was actually a pretty extensive list. Murphy tracked his eye up and down my body and it took all I had not to shiver. Instead I simply cocked my head towards the forest.

"You're not going anywhere Murphy." A deep voice interrupted. I rolled my eyes. _Of course_. Bellamy Blake stalked towards us with a group of other lads armed with spears and knives, "neither are you Lila."

"I'm hunting plants Blake. Nothing dangerous. I'm sticking near camp anyway, just in case I find something for Jasper." Without looking back at him I launched myself into the forest, eager to get away and lose myself in the pleasure of my plants. In hindsight it was a dangerous thing to do but I followed a trail of plants that looked a little like something from back on the Arc. It had healing properties, not for Jasper but for something else, and so I followed it into some caves. I lost myself as usual. When I came back with pocketfuls of the plant, sure that I could use them for fever, and a source of fresh water finally. As soon as I got to the mouth of the cave though my vision was blocked by yellow gas and my skin began to blister. I yelled. I ran back inside the cave and jumped into the water. There was very little light in the cave so I couldn't tell the extent of my burns. I kicked a wall. Acid fog. This earth continued to bear gifts.

"Where have you been?" A day and a night had passed since I left and Wells was furious. The camp was in uproar. Atom had died, caught in the fog. Octavia was distraught but I couldn't get to her side, or Jasper's. I couldn't show Clarke what I'd found because she was with the others and Jasper. My dislike for her wasn't a secret but she had medical knowledge and I knew she'd know how to use my plants properly. I held up one of them for Wells to inspect. He frowned at me and unexpectedly pulled me into a tight embrace.

"What's wrong?" I held him back just as tightly. We stayed there for a while, our words muffled by our heads on each other's shoulders.

"I thought you'd gotten caught in the fog. We had to hide in an old automobile to hide from it."

"You went out without telling me?!" I yelled as much as I could into his shoulder. Hypocritical of me I was aware but he really had to stop doing that. As did I but I'd only meant to go for half an hour at most. There was a silence before we just chuckled. Everything was alright, we were safe and that was all the mattered. I probably should've been more sad that Atom had died but I hadn't known him.

"Wells." A quiet voice interrupted our moment. It was Clarke. From the serious look on her face and the slightly hopeful one on Wells' this was going to be a moment for them. I gave him an encouraging smile and went to sit on a tree out of sight but within hearing range. It wasn't great hearing, I just wanted to spend some time with Wells because I'd missed him so I wanted to wait until the conversation was over. There were some tears I think from Clarke. I managed to hear a plea for forgiveness from her though which made me feel supremely satisfied. When Wells got me from behind the tree I shot a happy smile towards Clarke, feeling slightly magnanimous, but not enough to stop me from walking over to her. Her eyes were wary. Good.

"Lila." Wells warned but didn't stop me. Part of me thinks that he loved that I was so protective of him. I cheerfully told the princess,

"He'd forgive you if you shot him you know but I'm not so forgiving you know? This may not matter to you but I won't forgive you for a while." It wasn't a threat but it wasn't a signal that I'd turn to her as a leader like I was noticing others doing. She was cultivating a little group for herself and I could respect this but I wouldn't respect her yet. A heavy arm fell around my shoulder. Wells had decided that was enough. I was fine with that. So I pulled myself against Wells as much as I could, made him laugh as we walked away and found a beautiful edge that looked over the entire camp. The fire was going, people were laughing and it felt great.

We talked for hours and everything felt so light now that the weight was lifted off Wells' shoulders. Carefree was a good look on him. He stroked my hair as I fell asleep beside him. Soon I'd wake up and we'd both hunt down a cliff for me to be able to watch the sunrise on the dawn of my eighteenth. Wells Jaha and Lila Bishop against the entire world. We'd weather the storm together as we'd done for the past year. Everything felt wonderful for the first time in days.

I should have known.


	6. I'd Follow You

_I mention a song in this and I've not named anything but in my head it's We'll Meet Again by Vera Lynn! However if you have a better one than please tell me :D  
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><p>Something jerked me. Wells was falling and there were footsteps running away. I launched myself upwards. He was somehow below our little shelf that overlooked the camp. He was making tortured noises and his hand clutched at his neck. I screamed his name as I scrambled down the ledge to get to him. When I reached him I was covered in mud, he was looking up at me and was attempting a comforting smile. It didn't work. The wound in his neck was far too deep for there to be more than one conclusion. Wells was going to die. Gently I cupped his face and slid my knees underneath his head, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't watch your back." I sobbed. He just blinked. Sometimes when he couldn't sleep I used to stay up with him and talk to him. Like children find stories a comfort he found it so with talking. It was hard to try and do this through tears however. "We came together didn't we you and I? You made a decision and I followed you as usual. We dreamed of sunsets and beaches, all those things we'd see together, everything that we'd explore. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth you know that don't you? I love you so much. God Wells you are so, so loved. You're loved by me, your father. Clarke. You understand that don't you? You are loved." My tears were falling all over his face. His eyes were closed. There was a small smile on his face. His breath had stopped. <em>I <em>couldn't, "NO! No, I'm so sorry. I can't follow you there Wells. I'm sorry, so fucking sorry." There was movement behind me as I bowed over his body howling my grief into the night.

"Wells!" It was Clarke sounding horrified. I didn't look up from him but out of the corner of my eye I saw her kneeling. Her hands reached out to touch him. I screamed at her, "don't you touch him! Don't you _dare _touch him. You lay a fucking hand on him and I will break it. You don't deserve to touch him."

People were starting to gather around. There were tears on some people's faces. It pissed me off. I stood and screamed at them too. "_None_ of you get to cry. All of you hated him for his father's mistakes. All of you watched as _Bellamy_ and his _thugs_ tried to beat the shit out of him. You laughed in his face." A huge number of them began to look guilty, ashamed. An ugly thing inside me was made happy by this, "not a single one of you deserved Wells Jaha." I turned my attention back to where my best friend's body was now lying. Nothing I loved of my best friend and brother remained. Just another life claimed by this sick, infested world. I knelt back beside him, "what do I do?" I asked Clarke. Everyone here had probably lost a loved one but she was nearest.

"What?"

"He's the reason I'm here at all so what do I do? How do I do this without him?"

"I don't know."

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><p>Clarke and I dug his grave. I threw up when I realised what day it was. My eighteenth birthday and I was digging my best friend's grave. There had been no sunrise for me. Octavia was a saviour. She'd stripped Wells' body and washed it. There would be no ceremonial burying for him, nothing on his grave to commemorate who he was in life. Even though all of that railed against what I wanted for him I knew it was what would've made sense to him. Monty pulled me out of the grave and kept Octavia and I turned away as four boys I didn't know lowered Wells and Atom into the ground. I linked my fingers through Octavia's.<p>

"I'm sorry about Atom." My voice was emotionless and hollow. I'd cried until I couldn't. My eyes stung and Wells' body had been cold only four hours, if that.

"I'm sorry about Jaha. He was a good man."

"Thank you." My voice cracked but I stared resolutely ahead. No more crying until after I had sang. Likely there would be no others to join in my song but I didn't care. I would sing it from start to finish, a beautiful song my father had taught me from old Earth sung during times of war. It had been my family's favourite song and has been passed down, sung whenever someone died.

Octavia and I remained silent until the graves were being patted down flat. Clarke had remained watching although I couldn't fathom why. The four boys smiled at us sadly before they moved away. I gave Octavia one of the flowers that I'd pulled from the cave yesterday. We both placed them on the graves. Once I'd explored some more I'd find some beautiful woodland flowers and plant them here. These cave flowers wouldn't last but if I found something beautiful in a similar environment to the camp I'd plant them here. Wells could become one with the earth he'd craved so much, almost as much as he'd craved redemption from Clarke. Her forgiveness was one of the things for which I was glad, that he'd received it before he died. I stepped up to the head of the two graves so that my song could include Atom. I sang. Nobody joined in because nobody knew it other than I. Instead the two other girls and the many people who had gathered in the trees, far away from my temper, bent their heads and held hands. I suppose I should be thankful. It was much more than the other people who had died received. Thankful was a hard thing to be though when I knew they were there because of their guilt and shame. Fuck that.

* * *

><p>A girl had just crept out of Bellamy's tent. I don't know why she was trying to be sneaky because not five minutes before they'd been anything but. I watched from my spot on a box by the Dropship. Octavia had come over to check on Jasper who was finally making a recovery. There was clearly some overspill of his torment leaking into his mind. He was anxious and jumpy but no one wanted to mention anything. As she returned to the tent that we shared she'd dropped off some food and water. She'd made a move to touch me but I wouldn't accept anyone's right now. Luckily she understood. Darkness was falling quickly. A full day had passed without Wells in my world and I was having trouble seeing a point in continuing. I shoved that thought from my mind however and remained creepily watching Bellamy's tent until I was sure he was sleeping.<p>

Silence had fallen over the camp apart from the dying fire and the sleep mutterers. I crept as quietly as I could towards his tent. I knelt down and pulled back his drapes. My hand clenched around the dagger that had killed my best friend in my coat pocket. I ignored the blood and the pain I experienced as I grabbed the wrong end. I only faltered a little when the light switched on. Bellamy was leaning up on his elbows, chest bare, and staring back at me expectantly, "I was wondering how long it would take for you to come in here." I frowned but set my face in determination.

"You never believed me when I said I'd tear you apart if Wells got hurt." It was inelegant and completely non-threatening the way I was shuffling towards him on my knees, "Wells is dead."

"I didn't kill him."

"I don't care. You lead them and it was on your watch. You all blamed him for our old leader's mistakes. It seems only fitting that I blame our new leader don't you think?" Bellamy gulped and cast his eyes downward. There was a guilty look on his face but I wasn't going to trust it. Then he did something I never would have expected. Like lightning he reached out, curled his arm around my waist and dragged me on to his lap. We sat awkwardly for a moment in that odd position, him sitting up and keeping me firmly fixed in place on his lap with my knees either side of him. I had one hand still in the air from the shock of the movement but my other hand was still around the jagged knife edge in my pocket. Bellamy tipped back his head to expose the long column of his throat. One of his hands dipped into my pocket, took out mine and pressed both it and the dagger to his throat.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I deserve to die for someone else's crime. Maybe I don't." He was baiting me and I knew it. I rose to it. I dug the edge in, not enough to make any damage, or even scar, but enough to bleed slightly. A hiss escaped him but he held fast. If anything his arm flexed tighter around my hips, "they'll kill you." By that point we were both whispering.

"Maybe I want them too. I promised Wells I'd follow him anywhere. I came with him. Maybe it's only fitting I leave with him."

"You don't want to die." He sounded so sure it pissed me off. It pissed me off even more that he was right. Even though I was having trouble knowing how I'd do it I did want to continue living on this earth. Despite the dangers, despite the heartache and pain there was beauty to discover here and I wanted to explore it all. If I couldn't do it _with_ Wells I would do it _for_ him.

"Then I'll run."

"Where will you go? Grounders are everywhere. They got Jasper and Wells, they'll get you too." If I don't know better I'd say there was an inflection of _distress_ in that sentence, almost as if he didn't want me to be caught.

"I'll take that chance."

"I won't." I ignored that.

"All rivers run to the ocean. I'll follow it. I'll see the beaches, the sunrises, the sunsets I was promised for my eighteenth. It was today and instead of seeing a sunrise with him I buried him. Does that seem fair?" My voice cracked. My grip faltered. All it took for me to collapse was for Bellamy to utter a soft, almost broken 'no'. My bloody hand let the knife slip to the floor. In one smooth move he twisted us so that we were both on our sides. Our legs remained tangled together. Long fingers held my hand more gently than they'd done before and expertly twisted a bandage from his small supplies box around my injury. He then pressed a cloth to his own neck. Suddenly I wanted comfort for the first time in a day. I shifted over to him, pressed us together more closely and buried my face in his chest. Maybe it wasn't the type of touch he was used to but he quickly settled into it. There was a comfortable silence as we held each other.

The entire situation was surreal. Not two days before I'd been exclaiming my hatred for him, declaring pretty strongly that I would never be loyal to him. I disliked his penchant for violence and the dislike he'd stirred against Wells but here I was. Here he was, understanding me somehow. Neither my mind or my heart could understand so I chose to simply lay there, surrounded by arms that were strong, safe and secure.

"We can take a Grounder if you like. Find out exactly who did it." His voice was still a whisper but it reached my ears from where his chin rested on my head.

"Why would we do that?" My voice was muffled by my tears and his chest but my confusion came across. So did his when he spoke next,

"Grounders killed Wells." I pulled back. He stared back at me like he was confused I wouldn't know who had killed my best friend. He was dead wrong because, whilst I didn't know exactly who, I knew enough.

"If Grounders had killed Wells they would have killed me too. I was sleeping with him." The arms tensed around me for a brief second and, had I not been so enclosed in them, I never would have noticed, "He was killed by one of us. The dagger I have is the one which killed him. Clearly Ark made." Bellamy's eyebrows knitted together. An arm left me to turn on his side. I shuffled with him, pressing myself in closer. I didn't even think about it, it was instinctive, almost natural in a way I didn't understand either. My head dropped to his shoulder as he picked up the blade dripping in blood, both mine and Wells'. His lips parted in shock as he recognised the dagger. He brought it closer to the light, angling it so I could see what he was trying to point out. Initials were carved deep in to the base.

_ J.M._


	7. Monsters

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><p>To say that mine and Wells' friendship had a natural progression would be a lie. It had started very suddenly and then we simply slipped into it, as comforting as a heated bed when the heating had failed as it often did.<p>

_I'd been in an incredibly empty part of the Arc. I can't remember why it was empty but there was just me. I was probably doing something for work. All I truly remember is hearing gentle hiccups. Like someone had just stopped crying but wasn't quite ready to give up their pain. I hunted the sound to a small crawl space and clambered inside. My curiosity has always been insatiable. Curled up in a corner was the son of the mighty Chancellor Jaha with wet tracks down his face. I shut the crawl space up, shuffled close to him and placed a tentative hand on his knee._

"_I'm Lila Bishop."_

"_I can't get anything for you."_

"_No I don't want anything. I want to know why you're crying. Or if you need to talk or something." Never had I been the kindest of people or the most eloquent but his crying stirred some sort of __kindness__ in me. I'd never heard a cry so tortured. Wells said nothing but allowed my hand to rest awkwardly on his knee. We sat in silence until Wells started talking when he realised I wasn't going to push him or ask for anything in return. Naturally he told me the version that Clarke believed. It would be months until I got the full story, when we both trusted me fully. I asked him that day why, why had he done it? Because Lila sometimes it's better to deceive._

These are the words I repeated to the princess after her tirade against Murphy. She'd found the knife when it had slipped out of a hole in my jacket back in the main tent. Bellamy had told her what it was and it all kicked off from there. To be fair his argument against the idea of telling our camp that it wasn't Grounders was fair and logical. My heart sought vengeance for Wells but my head informed me that he would have agreed with Bellamy albeit reluctantly. Jasper and Octavia stumbled in suddenly, both looking extremely shaken. They dropped two fingers on to the table. Wells'. I dropped to my knees but made no sound even when all them turned their concerned gazes on me. But I was tired, so, so tired of _everything_ all of a sudden. So I sat down fully, curled my arms beneath my head and rested them on my knees. I was numb, I couldn't move, _wouldn't_ move.

"There's more than one murderer in this camp." Bellamy said although a thread of concern wound itself around the tone. I turned my head to them. Octavia would later tell me that my face was worryingly blank and my voice hollow.

"Because Lila sometimes it's better to deceive. That's what Wells said when I asked him why. For the greater good. Bellamy's right. The greatest good here is keep people safe and if that means telling them it was Grounders then that's what we do." The princess decided that I was wrong and stormed out. I closed my eyes against the raucous group outside but I couldn't block it out. However it wasn't until the rhythmic demands of 'float him' resounded around. No, I thought, that's the opposite of what Wells would want. This galvanised me into action and I launched myself out of the tent. Octavia and Jasper stopped me from launching myself in to the fray even though they looked as bewildered as I felt. How had this devolved so fast?

"You can't do this!" Clarke yelled as the group started dragging Murphy towards the nearest tree. They wrapped a rope around his bloody neck and hauled him up. It was all happening so fast, too fast for me to catch up. Through the chaos I saw the girl with the nightmares look oddly guilty and upset by this but I didn't have time to think about it.

"Stop!" I screamed as loud as I could but I wasn't heard. Octavia let me go when I elbowed her in the stomach on accident. Without apologising I ran towards Bellamy. He took a couple of steps back in confused panic as I reached for his belt. I grabbed his axe. Then I stood in front of the boy who had strung him up, between him and Murphy, glaring and swinging at anyone who tried to come close, "Stop it! You can't just _accuse_ someone and decide that's what happened! The knife it's – what's the word? Circumstantial! Just because it was used doesn't mean Murphy used it! He lost it remember?" I remembered from the day I chose to hunt plants. Him and Bellamy were having a testosterone-off and he'd thrown his knife away. The crowd was quiet for a brief second before they surged as one. Towards me. I heard the roars of Bellamy, Octavia and Jasper over the din but nothing stopped. I swung the axe, cutting Murphy's rope. The girl with the nightmares managed to shout over the din. She confessed to killing Wells. The axe wilted in my hand. Instead of doing anything about it I simply turned to Murphy and removed his bindings. God I despised him and a vicious part of me wanted to leave him but no one deserved to be beaten and hung.

"Thank you." He rasped. I shook my head. Crying I looked around at everyone. There was a hunger for blood in everyone's eyes. It made me sick. Without looking at any of them I turned on my heel and stalked into the forest leaving one sentence on the air.

"You're all monsters."

* * *

><p>Octavia had filled me in on everything when I'd returned after midnight, after the drama and she asked me if I was angry at her. I merely tucked myself under my blanket and patted her hair with a tired smile. There was no anger left in me any more it seemed, just a numbness I couldn't shake off.<p>

I have no idea how long I stayed awake but soon Bellamy's head popped in the tent. I blinked up at him before rising up on my elbows, mimicking him from last night. Instead of Bellamy crawling in to kill me however he was reaching out his hand for me to take. I glanced at Octavia who seemed sound asleep. That, in itself, was suspicious. She had nightmares too. My fingers tickled Bellamy's having reached out for him without thinking. His pinky finger slipped under my wristband. I'd forgotten it was there and it reminded me to slip on the jacket. The need to hide the band had subsided but I didn't want to take any chances. I wrinkled my nose. A bath in that cave, away from prying eyes, would be in order almost immediately. For now, however, my curiosity as to where Bellamy was taking me needed to be satisfied.

Octavia hadn't moved so we both knew that she was awake and due to follow us soon. I opened my mouth but Bellamy shook his head. Shrugging and adhering to his wishes I slipped out of the tent. We walked together in silence, him leading, until we came to a clearing. There seemed to be a great many in this forest. Here we stopped. Once again I opened my mouth but he smiled and turned away to glance at something on high. My heart stuttered. Dear God, if he continued to smile at me I'd have no choice but to forgive him anything.

Something tickled the hairs on the back of my hand. I glanced down. A huge, winged animal had perched itself there, I didn't know what as Earth Biology had never been strength. Its blue wings undulated languidly. This is what Bellamy had brought me to see? "What is it?" I murmured.

"A butterfly." I'd heard of butterflies from scientists in the greenhouses and had never thought once of seeing one, especially one of such iridescence and beauty. I caught Bellamy just as one of the butterflies landed on his nose. He looked so terrified that I had to giggle. Softly he let out a breath and the animal fluttered away. When he stepped alongside me we watched together as the butterflies swarmed around us before dancing away. Before I could follow them he steered me away, from them and from Octavia's forehead poking out of the high grass.

"Where are we going now then?" His silence remained and he was determined to keep his distance for some reason. The space between us grew wider as he paced determinedly ahead. To my left a twig snapped. Even though my head knew it was Octavia I squeaked and grabbed for the nearest safety, which just so happened to be Bellamy's frayed jacket hem. I plastered myself to his back like a child would its mother and kept my fists clutched at the bottom of his jacket, "I don't care if you hate me, I'm staying close."

Bellamy whirled around. Our faces were millimetres apart but I couldn't get a grip on his expression. This wasn't unusual but I was getting better at him. We were beginning to understand each other. Those dark eyes roamed my face, hunting something down, "I don't hate you." He was annoyed but I couldn't decide whether he was annoyed that I'd thought he did or annoyed that he didn't hate me. As if to prove his point he wrapped an arm around my shoulder albeit reluctantly. I didn't care, I took what was offered. His warmth wasn't the same as Wells', our bodies weren't as well suited but it was enough for now.

There was a silence until we reached our destination. Day hadn't quite began to slip through yet so I had no idea where we were. With a hand over my eyes he sat me down, dangled my legs over an edge and sat beside me, close enough for our thighs to press together. I couldn't stop noticing the warmth he emitted.

"This is where she killed herself." I knew he meant Wells' killer, a scared twelve year old girl who should never have made the list. Clarke should have listened to us when we said to leave well enough alone. However Octavia told me that it was handled pretty well in the end with Murphy's banishment, aside from the suicide.

"I'm sorry about her."

"She killed Wells."

"She was an impressionable child who should never have made it down here. If we're going to lay blame we should blame the Arc and their shitty political machinations."

"I was hired to shoot Jaha in exchange for passage to Earth." Bellamy exclaimed suddenly, "he's alive. I just wanted to keep me and my sister safe."

I had no idea why he was telling me this but I understood his feeling and maybe that's what he was searching for, "it's hard." I knew that more than anyone and guilt hit me square in the gut, "I can't say I agree with your methods but I understand you."

"We're similar you and I. We protect."

I snorted, swallowing a sob that felt like it had just punched me in the throat, "and I did _so_ well at that. Who would want _my _protection? I just get people killed."

"Me." Octavia finally decided to grace us with her presence. She moved out of the forest and sat by me, using my shoulder as her guide, "I want your protection. Both of yours." Bellamy had tensed beside me but relaxed when she'd added that on. Octavia reached over and grabbed my hand. We twisted our hands firmly together but with enough room for the tips of our fingers to tap against each other. She lent her head down, tucked it into the crook of my neck and kept her eyes trained ahead of us. Apparently her and Bellamy were in cahoots because it felt like they were waiting for something. Bellamy made me confused, turned me around but he was right. We were similar, which meant we possibly wanted the same thing. So I held his hand too. I threaded our fingers slowly together. At first he didn't respond but soon he tentatively parted his fingers enough for his hand to be held. Even though he was making his way through the girls in the camp I had the feeling Bellamy Blake hadn't had his hand held in a very long time.

All three of us sat like that until finally I realised what we were sitting there for. There was a sliver of light bleeding onto the horizon. My mouth fell open. It's so hard to describe seeing a sunrise for the first time. I started shaking as the sun rose higher and higher. Light and colours that I'd never seen before shifted before my eyes. There was just nothing else like it. It made me happy, it made me sad, it made me every emotion I could think of all at once.

Most of all it made me want to _fight_.


End file.
